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Mr Darcy, Resentment and a Heart Transformed

Working through resentment for what seems like a lifetime, I can identify with Mr. Darcy; unfortunately, not in a good sense.

“My temper would perhaps be called resentful. My good opinion once lost, is lost forever.” Mr. Darcy

I wish I could boast comparability with his redeeming qualities, but, we share temperamental weaknesses, not strengths. 

While it can be devastating to be hurt by others, especially those who are supposed to love me best, I’m discovering forgiveness is a healing balm, not an uncaring command. (Col.3:13)

When people unfairly misunderstand or misuse me, I allow resentment to gnaw my body and soul. Wasting away in bitterness and resentment, I become so emaciated that I’m of little use to anyone, least of all myself.  

resentment

“(Upon reflection), we may discover a lot of junk in the basements of our inner selves. Old wounds, past losses, may lie covered…” J. David Muyskens

Forgiveness possesses multidimensional benefits—relationally, personally, and spiritually, but how do I move from resentment to forgiveness? 

Unchecked selfishness leading to resentment obscures God’s lavish grace. But as I quiet my soul, abiding with my Good Shepherd, His Spirit slowly transforms me.

It’s not about me trying harder, working strenuously, or fixing tirelessly, but about me resting, abiding—experiencing Jesus’s “piercing sweetness,” as A.W. Tozer aptly described it. 

He continues:

The Bible…brings us to an intimate and satisfying knowledge of God, that we may enter into Him…may delight in His Presence, may taste and know the inner sweetness of God…in the core and center of our hearts.”

When I get to this place of the shut door, I find what I need. Freedom of: 

  • Pride that says I’m right and better
  • Selfishness, wanting what I want
  • Fear: insecurity, worry and doubt
  • Unforgiveness, resentment, and bitterness

Whatever I lose in His presence—feelings I’m clutching because they’re mine to harbor and hold—as I draw closer to the Source of all goodness, beauty, and truth, His divine presence brings pure pleasure and delight.

It’s a process, so I give myself grace, just as He does. Small victories are the sure and steady path.

Love changed Mr. Darcy, and me.

One new rhythm inching me towards divine wholeness is stealing prayers from saints of old, their intimacy with Jesus inciting mine. 

So as we head towards St Partick’s Day, may I offer a prayer from one who scaled the mountain of God’s presence, St Patrick and his Breastplate:

I arise today
Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,
Through belief in the Threeness,
Through confession of the Oneness of the Creator of creation.

I arise today
Through the strength of Christ’s birth with His baptism,
Through the strength of His crucifixion with His burial,
Through the strength of His resurrection with His ascension,
Through the strength of His descent for the judgment of doom.

I arise today
Through the strength of the love of cherubim,
In the obedience of angels,
In the service of archangels,
In the hope of resurrection to meet with reward,

In the prayers of patriarchs,
In the predictions of prophets,
In the preaching of apostles,
In the faith of confessors,
In the deeds of righteous men.

I arise today
Through the strength of heaven,
The light of the sun,
The radiance of the moon,
The splendor of fire,
The speed of lightning,
The swiftness of wind,
The depth of the sea,
The stability of the earth,
The firmness of rock.

I arise today
Through God’s strength to pilot me,
God’s might to uphold me,
God’s wisdom to guide me,
God’s eye to look before me,
God’s ear to hear me,
God’s word to speak for me,
God’s hand to guard me,
God’s shield to protect me,
God’s host to save me

From snares of devils,
From temptation of vices,
From everyone who shall wish me ill,
afar and near.

I summon today,
All these powers between me and those evils,
Against every cruel and merciless power that may oppose my body and soul…
Against every knowledge that corrupts man’s body and soul;

Christ to shield me today…
So that there may come to me an abundance of reward.

Christ with me,
Christ before me,
Christ behind me,
Christ in me,
Christ beneath me,
Christ above me,
Christ on my ri
ght,
Christ on my left,

Christ when I lie down,
Christ when I sit down,
Christ when I arise,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.

I arise today,
Through a mighty strength,
the invocation of the Trinity,
Through belief in the Threeness,
Through confession of the Oneness of the Creator of creation.

Weekly Health Tip: Stay Strong!

Remember how we lose 40% or more of our muscle by our 70’s? Let’s talk strength training! You don’t have to pump iron until your eyes bulge; here are a few tips to stay strong on a dime.

  • Grab a resistance band and a YouTube video.
  • Hit the mat with a few planks, squats—double or single leg, crunches & side lunges.
  • Try a beginner’s Pilates class in person or via video.

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