“Why can everyone else see it but me?!” I demanded.
Feeling helpless to uncover why I never developed healthy boundaries, I was bewildered by my lack of insight regarding someone who had subtle control over me much of my life. My counselor answered expressly yet emphatically, ”You have been in it for so long, you can’t see what’s so clear to everyone else.”
Confronting my past—or the well-concealed wounds—was overwhelming but imperative; if I didn’t dig deep to discover and absolve whatever I found in the ashes of my past, I was going to implode.
Our past doesn’t predetermine our future.
The lies we discovered together astonished me yet were the stories I told myself daily:
- unworthy
- ashamed
- stupid
Earnest but false narratives immobilize good intentions, abscond our abilities, and devastate our determination.
Back on the couch, I could hardly read the assigned journal entries through blurred vision. She listened with compassion, responding in wisdom.
The most profound moment of self-discovery, we began rewriting my false narratives with God’s truth.
Distorted beliefs demolish direction and purpose, derailing whole-hearted living.
But Jesus is the master sleuth in their discovery.
In John 4:39, the woman at the well found not only forgiveness in Jesus, but new hope and purpose.
In John 8:10-11, Jesus forgave and restored the woman caught in adultery, bestowing a new identity.
In Luke 7:47, an “immoral woman” who wiped Jesus’ feet with her tears was not only forgiven but honored and sent home to a new life of peace.
Each was desperate for deliverance, hearts craving healing, and He did infinitely more.
Jesus offered a new story to tell.
The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalms 34:18
For decades, I begged Jesus to rescue me from incapacitating fear. I grew hopeless when He seemed silent, doubt eclipsing my faith.
But through this guided journey of discovery and healing, I learned—while Jesus has absolute power to heal wounded hearts and redeem our past, we must first ask Him to uncover the lies lurking in the shadows of our soul. (James 1:5)
“Without God, we cannot; without us, God will not.” St. Augustine
It’s a tangible partnership, especially when heart wounds exist.
We desperately need the eyes, ears and education of a wise counselor to gently guide us to truth, confronting the lies decimating our soul. (Heb.3:13)
If we attempt to relieve the pain ourselves, we often mask it with soul-numbing distractions.
- Scrolling
- Posting
- Binge-watching
- Attention seeking
These distractions provided temporary relief, but ultimately intensified the lies I believed, leaving me disillusioned and exhausted.
The lies we believe become the prison bars holding our hearts captive.
But if we take the first step towards discovery, daring to dive into the darkness in our past, we can journey with Jesus into the light of His truth, bringing healing, freedom and joy.
Friend, if you struggle with unhealed wounds you’re just dressing with distraction, take inventory this week.
Step 1—pray for wisdom
Step 2—observe
- When do you seek to escape reality?
After a long day at work or with the kids? After the hard phone call or conversation? When you get overwhelmed?
- To what do you turn and how often?
Netflix, phone, food, alcohol, sleep? - Observe your emotions. Can you discern their origin?
Fear, pride, insecurity, uncertainty, disappointment, anger, resentment? - Write down your emotions and thoughts about yourself.
Don’t edit or read it right away; just write and close the journal.
Step 3—pray for and seek help from a trusted mentor or counselor
Discuss your discoveries. Let them lovingly unpack the false stories you tell yourself.
Healing is God’s work; investigation is ours.
Then, discover the truth exposing the lies. As a child of God, you are:
We can’t discern the depth of our pain in isolation. It requires objective eyes.
If you trust God with the process, partnering with a mentor or counselor, with time and effort, you will find freedom and joy!
*It’s rewriting my history. It covers me with destiny. It’s making all things right. The precious blood of Christ speaks a better word.
*Better Word, lyrics by Leeland
